When I look back to my high school days two things come to mind: pigtails, and not in the Baby One More Time sexy Britney way and, photosynthesis.
High School will teach you many things, things that will prepare you for later life and further education. But, providing you with a list of mathematic equations or the formula for typing the word 'boobies' into your scientific calculator is not the aim of my post. Yes, we are taught many a' theory during our school years but, let me ask you this, when was the last time you used the pythagoras theorem to get out of a parking ticket!? Instead I shall impart unto you the things that you will never learn in high school, the things I have learnt since graduating and entering the real world.
High school will not teach you...
1) How to balance a checkbook, nor what the phrase 'I'm balancing my checkbook' means.
2) How to apply makeup. There are gangs of women on the highstreet, in Tesco's, in your local library who will insist on wearing foundation through their brows, myself included.
3) How to format your CV, write a cover letter or apply for jobs - Google is your friend. Remember this and you will get far.
4) That leggings aren't, nor shall ever be, trousers.
5) How to clean a mirror without leaving smeary marks.
6) If you mess up, it is not your parents fault. Learn from your mistakes and be better.
7) The things you where considered cool for in school, the smoking, the alcopop benders, will not make you cool in later life. Listing 'lurking/looting in bus stops' does not make for an impressive vocational activity on your resume.
8) How to tell the difference between The Real Housewives of Orange County.
9) Apart from rent, you will end up forking out for food bills, water bills, electricity/gas bills, insurance, phone bills, travel bills, the list goes on and only increases in size as your family does.
10) Love lives do not undergo a drastic change the moment you hit your thirties - you will be surprised how much your love life in your thirties resembles your love life in your teens. Oh, and being played, still happens and still hurts just as much. (If you are reading this and thinking, you are not 30! Well, I have it on good authority.)
11) How to Hula-Hoop, only Grace Jones can teach you that.
There are many more but, to be frank, Emmerdale is on and I cannae maintain my concentration.
Feel free to help me out. The list is endless.
Over and out.
Hey Briony, I just randomly found your blog about 20 min ago and since then I've been reading a lot of your posts, Which by the way, I really like. I can relate a lot to this particular post and would like to add two more...
ReplyDelete12)Teachers are not always right.
13)Trying too hard to "fit in" is useless, when what is valuable (or atleast I think it should be)is our personal differences.
Have a great day!
and keep it up :)
I really don't get the point. What do you wanna tell us?
ReplyDeleteAt first you start telling us that we learnt a lot of stuff in school we'll probably never need in our daily life. I agree that most of us don't us a mathematical formula while we're in our cars. But it's still helpful for a lot of jobs that influences your life day for day.
Then you told us what we never learn in school.
The real differences between housewives and Orange County??
I never watched any of those stupid series an I promise I never will.
A leggings isn't a trouser??
What the f***
Is this what you expected from your teacher? A makeup lesson instead of a foreign language who can help you to travel and contact a lot of people easier.
Apply makeup?!?!?!
It's getting worse. Because if these things are elementary stuff you need to know in life it could explain why you didn't mention only one word about fails in our school system. Any thoughts of the real problems pupils have after leaving school. Suddenly we're alone. No one who told us what is right and wrong and there is no one who told us what to do. Now we can choose what we wanna be. A doctor, a baker or maybe a writer? And we live in a time where the assortment of future ways is endless. Sometimes it's hard to go this way all by ourselves.
So I'm really wondering how you could talk about a love life in our thirties (aren't you sweet 21?) and, to top it all off, to say these are prevailing circumstances. Every one love, dress an think the same way.
Shame on me I can't take part of it.
If you really wanna write about an interesting school topic I suggest you to talk with people who failed. Those leaving school before finishing and those who never get the chance to show their real face behind a mask of illusion, afraid of bullying etc. and talk to people who always wrote their As. How can we became so different in just a few years in school. Didn't we were all equal in kindergarten?
Make the life a bit better and stop writing about such stupid stuff.
Wish you a nice day with regards from Germany. Mimi
I think the idea was merely amusement. I get what she's saying: only life can teach you certain experiences. Whereas school cannot all of the time. School is not so fundamentally important for learning some of life's lessons.
DeleteI, on the other hand, cannot understand the reason for your overly-critical response to what was clearly supposed to be a light-hearted blog entry. If you have enough time to write this unnecessary and unfounded rant then why not utilise that time to write something decent of your own, seeming you're so unimpressed with what others have written.
I agree!! If you are looking for serious blogposts about serious topics then you have come to the wrong place. My blog is a place where my readers can escape the seriousness of their own lives and focus on the little things, the unsubstantial things, the things that don't really matter but, ultimately bring us together as one.
DeleteYour opinions are valid but, merely misplaced. There are many papers currently lining our news agents shelves that have plastered their front pages with the Haylor split rather than something worthy and important - this is where the problem lies, not on my lighthearted and hopefully somewhat entertaining blog.
I suggest put your opinions to good use and write a blog yourself, I would be (and I am not in anyway being sarcastic) would be very interested to read it.
Thank you.
M. Read : i agree with your first sentence. of course, it seems she wanted to be write humour about it. But and that was my concern to comment: she's young, wants to be a writer and tries to respond, through her blog, to a lot of people all over the world (tell me if I'm wrong)
ReplyDeleteYou always bear responsibility when you're a journalist or working for a press. You can move people or help let em sitting on a couch and thinking about your words. That's what a good writer is able to do!
Well for now she pillory obviously the system school.
And I can't see what this blog entry is going to. I didn't want to write an" unnecessary and unfounded rant". I won't offend her as person.
It's my own opinion. I tried to point that out. Sorry if it wasn't clear.
And I will never stop reading also If I don't agree or like the way someone else wrote about sth. That's for me the only way to grow and walk around open minded with an intension to scrutinise all the things I don't understand.
To end a story with: 'if you don't like it do it better' - à la shut the fuck up and close your eyes is not what anyone in the world should do but exactly what we learnt in school!
Mimi
12) No matter how blatantly obvious your intentions, people always seem to take things too seriously.
ReplyDeleteLoved this blog entry but I'm REALLY looking forward to your exposé on the failing public school systems! You know, since that's the only thing worth writing about. (re: Anonymous)
I don't thing that my English knowledges are good enough to express my thoughts in your language. I tried it a few times to address a wider public but never carried it out. That's why I only write in German.
ReplyDeleteOk now I know why almost all of my words weren't useful for you but I still don't understand where the connection is between makeup, sex and series and your main topic school.
Buuut sometimes there are things in life we'll never understand.
Sorry again if you felt offended by my critical words. Maybe I would have been able to choose my words on a better way
Bye Mimi
If German is your mother tongue then that would explain why you don't understand her blog post. Es ist sehr lustig, trust me :P
DeleteNot offended, criticism (however constructive) is always welcome.
ReplyDelete