All by my selfie.

Once again I have become delinquent with my writing. I would like to blame a hectic schedule, the loss of my fingers and thus my ability to type but, I can't. Maybe it is a good thing, I have had less to moan about, lesser to get on my nerves. Miley is still twerking but I have come to terms with it and even given it a trial run in my bathroom mirror. I'll stick to skankin'. Skankin' I can do.

This week (haha, said like I update weekly) I shall lay to rest the debate of the selfie. If you are unfamiliar with the said 'selfie', I am talking pout perfect, fabulously filtered, completely and unequivocally delusive photographs of your mush (and I should know, I am guilty as charged...check my Instagram).

The selfie is your friend. Not only your friend but your best friend. It promises to serve it's queen and it's country and to keep the Guide Law. It promises to flatter you, bring out your best side and lift your spirits when they have fallen flatter than your hair. Vain? Of course. We are taking pictures of ourselves, by ourselves. If this is not the very definition of vanity then slap me and call me Janet. But do we give a teeny tiny rats arse? No. There are enough people sat impatiently behind the security of their computer screens just waiting for an opportunity to compare our noses to that of a gherkin, and our legs to that of a chunky chip rather than a french fry...so selfie your self silly. If it makes you feel good, then let your freak flag fly.

There are a few golden rules when it comes to the selfie. Number one, selfie few and far between. As much as I love your face Rihanna, I don't need to see it for breakfast lunch and dinner. Treat your selfie like that chap you've been flirting with over Twitter, treat them mean to keep them keen.

Number two, a selfie with a friend is like a free pass to Thorpe Park, just as thrilling but minus the guilt.

Number three, a 'lickin-lips' selfie is never okay. It does not matter whether your background is full of pastel posies or giant raffle won teddies, if you wouldn't put it in a frame DO NOT put it online. The internet is a breeding ground for all things news worthy, it is not a vault, a vast space of nothingness in which nothing truly exists. It is the real world with real problems and real dangers, tread with care and caution. Oh, and avoid the 'belfie' (the bottom selfie). Making sure your InstaFANs recognize you when stood behind you in a queue is not necessary really...is it?

According to a new Study on the DailyMail (hardcore stuff), the selfie holds the ability to leave you on your selfies. With every picture we post we drop a facebook friend, a follower...a like. The title reads: 'Does your selfie spell social suicide?', well does it? Do we really care if our housemate posts a picture of themselves when we know full well that they are sat in their room alone, passing the time with a fuchsia pout? Does it deem them socially inept or deserve a barrage of abuse? No, no it does not. Instead of letting your green eyed monster get the better of you, why not press like? Or better yet make a POSITIVE comment. It won't hurt I swear, in fact it is probably the easiest way of doing that 'one nice thing a day' shizzle you promised yourself at New Years.

Over and POUT.

xx