I cannot sing. Well, I can sing to a certain dreary extent. I was once picked to be in the chorus of my secondary school musical Grease but, I didn't get a main part. This probably the first and only time I have ever sang in public, this does not include in the kitchen as I cook, when I am alone, karaoke or singing with my equally tone deaf sisters (sorry, let's be real, we ain't no Destiny's Child). But singing in my shower this morning, no, performing in my shower this morning made me question my singing ability. The shower was obviously impressed - an assumption I am making on the basis that the hot water didn't take a drastic turn to cold at the sound of my falsetto - Yes, I use the word falsetto.
So, what if i am not as badder singer as the great outdoors has made me believe? If I got a main part back in the school musical, would I, rather than watching Entourage in my sweats, have my name in lights outside Madison Square Gardens!? No, probably not but, it's worth considering.
This isn't going to be one of those hard hitting pieces asking what it is people do when the door is closed because, quite frankly, I don't want to know. It may however, in some light hearted manner, roll in to the 'are we all actors' territory but, you never know, I am not even 100% sure on where this may lead...
One thing I am sure of is that you can never know a person inside out. You may read my tweets and know precisely what I am doing. You may read my blog and think you know what train is on course through the tracks of my mind. But you didn't know that I perform in the shower, you didn't know that my eyelashes are in fact extensions, you didn't know that I am living of a diet of pesto pasta and pickled onions, you also didn't know that I occasionally perform a ballet routine to my washing machine.
That you didn't know. And, yes it is always well received.
You probably didn't know that I have an intense crush on James Corden but then again, some of you probably do.
I did have a point but, I am tempted to abandon it and create a bullet pointed list of kitchen appliances I have performed to. No - shant.
What I am trying to say is - we will never know everything about one another. So, let's stop trying eh!? Let life be a little bit more exciting, we don't need to know what your thinking, feeling and doing every damn second of the day in the space of 140 characters. Instead tell me something funny, I like funny. And I would, quite honestly rather laugh than know that you have been sat in Shirley's Salon waiting for a blue rinse whilst your boyfriend has totally been texting some sl*t named Sharon.
Cause let's face it, Sharon has probably uploaded the conversation to Facebook twenty minutes ago anyway.
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